last Christmas randomness

I found some random and favorite photos from last Christmas today.  I can't believe how little Z was!  A little baldy.  And, look at all those school projects my girls did that are pasted to the back of our front door.  Classy, I know.

I can barely remember last Christmas.  It's a big blur.  It might have something to do with the fact that I hadn't gotten a full night's sleep in 7 months at that point.  

David and I took a stay-cation while my parents kept the girls.  We took Z and just slept and ate and watched Harry Potter and slept some more.  It was fabulous.

This one was taken on Christmas morning.  I think Z has a crazy gleam in his eye because he wants to grab my camera lens.  I love this photo and his pajamas (both are keepers!)

How different our lives would be without little Z.  I just can not imagine it!  

On a more serious and deeper note, this is the week that little baby O. would have been due, had he been carried to full term.  It would be so bizarre to have another little baby at this point in my life--so bizarre I can not imagine it!  But, there is still sadness at not having met him and not having him here with us.  The sadness does not come very often anymore, though there are still occasional tears, but not as many.  I do look forward to meeting him one day.  I wonder what he looks like?!  It's incomprehensible to think of already having a little person waiting for us in heaven.  Sigh!

I'll leave you with this one of Z and his drooley face.

gingerbread house.

Hello, December!  

It's a good month.  It's the month of festive decorating, fa-la-la-ing, listening to the Charlie Brown Christmas album, sugar cookie baking, Christmas parties, trying to remember the real meaning of Christmas, purchasing gifts, sending out Christmas cards, my birthday...  Whew.  I feel tired just writing all of that down!

I've decided that Christmas in Florida can be just as festive as Christmas in other places, you just have to know where to go and not expect it to feel cold and snowy.  Once you're used to wearing shorts and tank tops all year round, you're much better off.  In fact after 5 years, I just may have acclimatized.  I no longer find myself cursing under my breath at the lack of seasons.  And, I secretly wonder if I'd ever be able to do "cold" again. I'm not saying I wouldn't like a little change of season, but I think I can deal with the weather here now.

So, feeling festive, I let the kiddos decorate a gingerbread house.  Little Z is really getting to be a "poser" for the camera.  Check out his head-tilt!

Miss A is horrified by Z snatching of a piece of candy off the roof.  It was quickly fixed by Miss M.

I can't quite manage to get all 4 of us in the shot anymore.  Almost.

Miss A gets her own photo.

three amigos

It has been an insanely long time since I've posted, and if anyone is still out there reading or checking this blog, I will be highly impressed.  The blog has been put on a back burner for now along with my digital photos which are waiting to be edited and screaming at me to download them from my memory cards.

My photo life is in such a pathetic state, in fact, that the photos you see below may just have to suffice for my kids' portraits this year.  Seven, 18 months and nine, in no particular order.  That would be quite sad, actually. I will have to get on those annual photos--quickly!  

What's on the front burner?  Schooling at home.  We are back to home school this year.  It has taken up most of my mental energy.  What else?  Chasing my toddler.  He's a good boy and at such a fun stage.  He's got his "cheesey" smile on for the camera now-a-days.  And, Jazzercise--it keeps me sane and keeps those good endorphins flowing.  I didn't mention cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping.  Oh, my, it's quite exciting around here.

Thanks for stopping by, whoever is still out there :)

Oh, the title of my post--that's my favorite part of school at home--that I get to see them all enjoy each other, and that they get to be around each other all day.  I guess that can be the worst part too, but most often it's the best part.  Until next time! :) K

mr. personality

Hello, friends!  It has been a long, long time since I've sat down to do anything photo or blog related.  And, it has felt oh-so-good!  Sometimes, it's just nice to unplug from cyber-world.  And, that's just what I've been doing this entire summer.  But, there is a time for everything, and maybe now it's time to begin blogging again, and processing my photos.  That can be therapeutic as well.  Here's little Z at the beach.  I believe he was enthralled by a dog.  Let's just call him Mr. Personality.  He's a charmer for sure!  Don't you agree?

our butterfly emerges

It was on Day 8 that the butterfly emerged!  At first when I checked on him, he looked like this:

I sent the girls to VBS, started to clean up a bit, and about an hour later came out to find this:

Isn't he beautiful?  Yes, I could tell that it was a "he" because his the black veins were on the thinner side, and he also had two distinctive black spots on the lower wings.  The spots are special scales that emit pheromones that can detect when a female butterfly is present. Females have thicker veins and no black spots on their lower wings.  (I'm sorry I did not specifically photograph this difference to show you!  I was just too caught up in how remarkable this creature was!)

He just clung onto the branch for a long time, letting his wings dry.  He really didn't seem too interested or rushed to go anywhere.  I was happy that he didn't want to hurry away.  I kept staring at his body wondering how in the world he became so beautiful?  His body was now black and white and furry and his legs were so long!

Here's a crop of the wing so that you can see the detail more clearly.  I'm just amazed at how detailed the wings are.  They look like tiny pixels all lined up just perfectly.

Here's another close up of the previous wing photo.

A glimpse of his previous home.  It's amazing to me that he fit in there!

Here's his face.  He kept curling and unfurling his proboscis.  It's really fascinating to watch.  I was continually struck by how furry his body was.  And those white spots are just so pretty!

Here's a cropped in photo of his legs.  There are "V's" at the end of each leg making him "sticky" and able to cling onto just about anything.  I loved watching him walk around.

There's his little face.  Seems like a face that only a mother could love.  A little bug-eyed for me! Those little tufts at the top of his head look a bit owl-ish to me too.  Maybe that's why his wings are so beautiful--makes up for the lack of beauty in his face.

And, there he is again.

Well, I wish this story had a happy ending, but I'm sorry that it does not.  Our butterfly stayed on our bush for a long time, but when he finally took flight, he fell and broke his wing.  After that, he could not fly anymore, and seemed really hurt.  We tried to rescue him by putting him on some of our nectar flowers, and even giving him some sugar water before bed.  But, sadly when we got up the next morning, he was dead.  I was so sad that I cried.  All the work he did seemed so wasted.  We had watched him grow and eat and transform and finally emerge a beautiful creature, and then he just died.

That same day, as I was thinking about all of this, Miss M looked out our window and noticed that a butterfly was visiting our milkweed plant.  We ran out to look at it, and it was a male monarch butterfly--just like ours!  He was perfectly formed, and seemed so happy.  Somehow he gave me hope--that someday all brokenness will be restored and made right.  Butterflies won't fall, break their wings and die anymore.  Someday.

Here he is, broken wing an all.  If you look closely on the lower right wing, you can see the black spot I'm referring to which makes him a male.  I decided to keep this guy as a reminder of hope--that even broken wings will be made right someday.  

************************************************************

Well, that is officially the end of my butterfly story.  I have to tell you since our first butterfly, we have acquired two more milkweed plants.  One day a female butterfly came to visit our plants while we were in the yard and we had the privilege of watching her lay eggs an several leaves.  

Would you believe that we currently have watched 20 caterpillars grow from tiny eggs into huge caterpillars?  We currently have 9 chrysalis and 9 caterpillars in our yard.  Yesterday we had our two butterflies emerge successfully from their chrysalis.

Although, this is not really a nature blog, I will be posting some more photos about caterpillars, chrysalis and butterflies.  This little blog is about our lives.  And, currently, sort of by accident, we're doing a lot of butterfly gardening this summer.  Stay tuned for a few more nature posts!

the long wait

I checked faithfully on the chrysalis everyday.  Day 2 was remarkable because of the beautiful gold ornate "bumps."  The one around the top is known as "the golden zipper."  Even on day 2, I could see the beginnings of the wing pattern starting to form.  I couldn't get over how beautiful the chrysalis was.






Day 3 looks pretty similar to Day 2.




On day 4 the wing pattern appears to become more defined.




Day 5: no apparent change.


I have to be honest.  By day 6, I was getting tired of waiting--tired of not seeing any real changes.  What the heck was going on inside there?  And why couldn't I see any more apparent changes on the outside?  How many ways can a photographer think to photograph the same little green chrysalis?  I was getting impatient.


So much so, that I forgot to take a photo on Day 7.  I was no longer so enthralled with the process.  I knew something was going on inside the little green package, but I was recording the process more out of duty than true desire.  I had better things to do every morning at 10am than photograph a little green chrysalis.  My dishes were calling my name.  Continuing to photograph this little guy felt like an interruption in my day.

But, on day 8, I discovered a huge change.  What in the world?  How did this little guy change so fast?  What a surprise!  When I was least expecting it, all of a sudden, that little green chrysalis was no longer green, but clear.  Translucent.  And, wow, what a transformation!  To think that I had grown impatient, and had almost gotten too busy to keep waiting.  I could have completely missed it!



I promise to finish the story, and post butterfly pictures sooner than later!

Again, all photos taken with my 100mm, f/2.8 macro lens.  Some photos are cropped in to show more detail.

the caterpillar story

A few weeks go I was talking to a friend, telling her how I felt like I just had to "sit down" in life.  I felt like I had been turned upside down, inside out, around and around so much that nothing made sense anymore.  And, I so I found myself just "sitting."  Of course, I do have three children, so there are lots of basic things I had to keep doing, but in my spare moments--the precious few that I have--I found myself in a very still and quiet place--internally.

My friend recommended a great book about the process the heart goes through when you have to wait in such moments when nothing makes sense.  The author uses very rich language and imagery throughout the book.  One of her metaphors is the caterpillar's process of transforming into a butterfly.  She calls it the spiritual art of "cocooning."  When you enter a dark, quiet place, nothing seems to be happening on the outside, but on the inside, an incredible transformation is taking place. The caterpillar must enter the cocoon in order to transform.

Anyway, this imagery really resonated with me.  I feel that God often uses metaphors and imagery to speak to me--make because I'm partly a creative type, partly analytical--they really speak to me.  

A few days into the book, while I was shopping for some flowers to plant in my yard, I ran into a nice lady who had two large flowering plants in her shopping cart.  Guess what was on the flowers?  A large monarch butterfly!  I remarked at how incredible her plant was, and she proceeded to tell me all about "butterfly weed" (a.k.a. milkweed) and how monarch butterflies lay their eggs on it.  She harvests the eggs to take into her great-grandson's preschool classroom so that the kids can to watch the process of caterpillar-to-butterfly.  She regularly checks the store to see if they have "butterfly weed," but it is very popular, and sells out almost instantly.  But, there was one plant left that day, and she showed me where it was.  I brought home one milkweed plant, thinking that maybe we'd attract some butterflies.

A week or so later, guess who I discovered on our plant?

A monarch caterpillar! Miss M named him "Silky."  

Just to give you a sense of scale...

Again, for scale.  This is Miss M's hand "petting" the caterpillar. She loves creatures!

Our milkweed plant.  Did you know that monarch butterflies only lay their eggs on milkweed?  It's called a "host" plant.  One monarch butterfly will lay a total of 400 eggs, but they will only lay one egg per milkweed plant because they want to make sure their babies have enough food.  Incredible!

Here's "Silky" again.  He was so fascinating to watch.

A close up of his "face."

He ate and ate for several days, and then on Monday, he took off.  I went out to check on him, and he was gone!  I freaked out, and found him on the rim of the milkweed pot, so I carefully put him back on the plant, thinking that he had fallen down somehow.  An hour later, when I checked on him again, he was gone!  I searched and searched, and found him on our neighboring basil pot, two pots over.  I was just about to leave the house for an appointment and didn't want him to escape so I temporarily put him in a glass jar.  ( I know, I was a little obsessive.)  

When I got home, I tried putting him in the azalea-bush-turned-topiary, but he did not like that at all, so finally I tried my hibiscus bush, which he loved!  It was time for him to make his chrysalis.

Look what he did!

They curl and unfurl over and over in order to let air in underneath their skin in order to shed it.  This is the final molting and the process by which they become a chrysalis.  So, turning into a chrysalis is really a process of shedding their outer skin in order to become who they really are.  Isn't that fascinating?

I kept checking on this guy because I didn't want to miss anything.  I shot the above two photos, and then came back out to check 40 minutes later, and this is what he looked like!  I was a little disappointed to miss the process.

"Silky" has be a chrysalis for less than 40 minutes at this point.  It looks almost wet.  I just love the incredible detail!

If you look closely, you can even see the wing pattern beginning to take shape.

 The above shot is one of my favorites.  I love the artsy feel.  You can even get a little sun flare action on the chrysalis.

Clearly, I'm obsessed! I'm just so drawn into the transformation process of this little creature. One other interesting factoid: the grown caterpillar was around 2.5 inches long.  The chrysalis is only about an inch long.  He's in a tight spot for sure!

Okay, these next few shots are such a contrast.  It's the caterpillar's shed skin.  I found it just directly below the chrysalis.  

A little freaky, I admit.  but, wow.  To think that the skin that was once so perfect was no longer suitable, and that he had to shed that skin in order to become a new creature.  

You can even see his old legs.  I guess he won't need so many legs when he can fly! 

Back to the chrysalis one more time.  Look at how he's fastened himself.  He's on the underside of a leaf on my hibiscus bush, hanging by some silky thread.  There's a proper name for this, but I've forgotten.  

This was all from Day 1.  You can be sure that I'll keep posting photos of this little guy in the days to come.

In case you are wondering, I shot all of these with my 100mm, f/2.8 marco lens.  A few photos are cropped in more closely so that you can see the detail close-up.